Choosing Gratitude

Choosing gratitude in marriage means focusing on what’s good instead of what’s missing. It’s about intentionally noticing your spouse’s efforts, expressing appreciation out loud, and creating small daily habits that build connection—like saying “thank you,” sharing one positive moment, or writing a quick note of appreciation. Gratitude softens tension, reminds you that you’re on the same team, and helps love feel lighter, even in stressful seasons. When you choose gratitude, you choose to see your marriage through the lens of grace rather than complaint.

Think of November as a quiet workshop for your relationship—a chance to set intention, practice appreciation, and make a plan for the weeks ahead. Here are a couple of things you can do as a couple to display gratitude.

A 60-Second Daily Practice

• The One Sticky Note Rule. Every evening, each of you writes one sentence that starts with “Today, I appreciated when you…” Stick it on the fridge or bathroom mirror.

• Keep it small. “You filed the car, with gas” “You texted to check on my meeting,” “You made me laugh at dinner.” Specific beats grand every time.

• Miss a day? Start again tonight. Consistency over perfection.

Five Cozy November Date Ideas

• Blanket Fort & Board Game Night at home—winner picks the next date.

• Thrift-Store Challenge: $10 each to find the coziest mug; vote best find.

• Gratitude Letters: Write a short thank-you to someone who impacted your marriage (mentor, friend, parent) and mail it.

• Night Drive + Playlist: Hot drinks, scenic route, your November playlist.

• Volunteer Together: Serve at a food pantry, coat drive, or community meal—shared purpose bonds fast.